Funny Stories for Dads

I’ll provide the funny stories. All you have to do is read ’em and laugh. It’s OK. I’ll wait for the game to end.

Why do dads need to laugh? In case you haven’t noticed, today’s dads are often marginalized in popular media. Watch any TV commercial. We’re usually portrayed as bumbling doofuses. In my case, it’s probably true, but I doubt it’s entirely accurate in your situation. You work hard to provide for your family and set a loving example for your children. It’s OK to relax and laugh every once in a while, right? Dads of the world unite! (Right after loading the dishwasher…)

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MARK’S LATEST BOOK

“BLOW THE MAN DOWN” is a hilarious romp through the 1980s and ’90s music business, both in Nashville and the mysterious Virgin Island of ill repute, St. Croix. Go to the book page or order your copy now!

Latest Blog Post

Being a dad can be downright scary, and I’m not just talking about the baby stuff. How you appear in the eyes of your impressionable 12-year-old son or daughter can be as terrifying as driving a newborn home from the hospital. Let me explain…

Lists

The Top 6 Ways for Dads to Avoid Pissing Off Their Teenaged Daughters

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Few things in life are more confusing and scary for a dad than a teenaged daughter. It's just true. When our daughters are cooing babies, Dads develop an idealistic fantasy that the father/daughter bond will strengthen into one of those “You…

The Top 11 Things Every First-Time Dad Should Know

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As a wildly experienced father of three who is a master of every parenting nuance, I felt it was time for me to impart some of my wisdom to all you new daddies out there. Upon the birth of a first child, we all feel a little unprepared (slang for completely freaked out of our minds) and it helps to have access to a little friendly advice, even from a doofus.

The Top 10 Reasons You Should Read This Post

These days, scrolling through the Internet is like sitting at a table with a dozen six-year-old boys at a Chucky Cheese pizza birthday party — it’s a cacophony of noise, it’s impossible to listen to any single conversation, and even if you could, it wouldn’t be worth your concentration. So with this in mind, I’m going to make your life easier by giving you clear, succinct, and easy to understand reasons why this post is worth your valuable time, and you can go ahead and forget about all that other stuff on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, blah, blah, blah. You can thank me later.

Health and fitness stuff? Boom.

Burpees or back surgery: you decide!

My back hurts. As I write this, I'm shifting around in my office chair to find a comfortable position, because couple of hours ago, I completed a Crossfit WOD (workout of the day) that involved a bunch of deadlifts.  It's funny that…

Crossfit and aging: The value is in the TRYING

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On August 27 of 2013, I wrote a satirical blog called “Top 12 Reasons Why This 47-year-old HATES Crossfit.”  It wasn't any big statement, but just an attempt to crack up my wife, which is the goal of the majority of my writing.  As…

Top 9 reasons why I should be the 'Face of Crossfit' instead of Rich Froning

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So Froning is essentially the “Face of Crossfit." The Reebok/Crossfit people must be living charmed lives, because Froning is handsome, articulate, funny, and by all accounts, a very nice guy. However, I’ve given this some serious thought, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I, Mark Johnson, would be a better “Face of Crossfit" than Mr. Froning. Here are the top 9 reasons why.

Children and parenting? Here you go.

The Top 10 Christmas Shows, period, the end.

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If you're like me, you don't need any help deciding which Christmas shows to watch.  You know what you like and what you don't. So why would you come here to read my "Top 10 Christmas Shows, period, the end"?  Easy.  So you can either…

Ava's Zamperini speech

After winning the 4-H Public Speaking competition in her school club, my 10-year-old daughter, Ava, competed Thursday night (12/13) in the Rutherford County competition.  Much to my surprise and delight, she chose Louis Zamperini as her topic.…

Sugar pushes buttons

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Tuesday night, I wrote a post about how America indoctrinates our children into the Sugar Culture from the word go.  I really didn't expect the post to generate much interest. Boy, was I off. Now granted, my blog page is still in its…

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